People gets sick once in a while. Itis waited. Therefore they have sick time at job. That's why there are doctors and insurance organizations. But there are a few basic stuff to be sure you be in principal good health. You must wash your hands. Sadly enough, not enough people do this. Especially after using the restroom. Investigations have been done and a shockingly low %% of men and women wash their hands after using the lavatory or before meals.

I always tell you: Consume water. Liquid cures all ills. Dehydration is the culprit of many common indisposition like headaches and addition bloating. 8 cups of liquid is the minimum so make sure you're getting at least that much. Think that fruits and vegetable juices count towards your daily scoop of hydrating drink. Sport. Sport doesn't have to mean hours on the treadmill sweating away to emaciation. Physical activity can be as easy as walking across the parking lot to the grocery store or doing housework. That's true! Airless get off calories intake! The more active in basic you are the more exercise you're getting. Consider getting a passometer. Pedometer's have shown that men and women who wear pedometer's are more effective than those who don't.

If you are looking to lose weight then chances are you are in need of a few fast tips to help speed along the process. Weight loss does not have to be a difficult thing if you approach it with a positive frame of mind and make minor adjustments weekly that you can live with.  If you slowly change what you eat and how you exercise then over time you will start noticing big changes in your body.

Here are some helpful hints to get you started towards your goal of weight loss.

1.  Always drink a glass of water before your meals.

Many people start to mistake thirst for hunger and eat when they are actually thirsty.  Try drinking a glass of water before your meal or when you are tempted to snack in order to help reduce the amount of calories you consume and thus lose weight.

2. Each your starchy carbohydrates earlier in the day.

A simple way to promote weight loss when it comes to carbohydrates is to try and eat the more starchy ones such as pasta, bread and rice earlier in the day.  Since these types of carbohydrates are more calorie dense, eating them when you body is more in need of energy is a smart thing to do.  Later on try to consume vegetable sources of carbohydrates as these are quite low calories and will help you lose weight.

3.  Keep healthy snacks at your desk

When hunger strikes while you are at work you do not want to be tempted by the vending machine.  Everything you find there will likely be extremely high calorie and will not be conducive to weight loss at all.  Instead, keep healthy snacks in your desk such as cans of tuna, low fat pretzels or rice chips, whole grain cereals and individual packets of protein powder. This will make winning at weight loss one step easier.

4.  Workout first thing in the morning

Those individuals who choose to workout first thing in the morning are much more likely to stick with their workouts since there are fewer barriers that come into play.  The only factor they will likely need to overcome is their desire for more sleep so once they can get past this they will have no troubles sticking to their workout. Additionally, since exercise helps to increase your metabolism, doing it earlier on is beneficial as it will help you burn calories throughout the rest of the day.

5.  NEVER skip breakfast

If you think skipping this morning meal is a sure way to reduce calories and help you lose weight you are very wrong.  Your body has been fasting overnight and it's crying for nutrients at this time. If you don't eat then your metabolism is likely to slow down making it even harder for you to lose weight.  Chances are you will be so hungry that you will eat more calories than you normally would at lunch therefore making up and potentially even surpassing what you missed from this morning meal.

6.  Workout with a friend

If sticking to your workouts is your biggest challenge then try and find a friend who has similar fitness goals that you can workout with.  This will really help you stay on track because you know they are counting on you to show up. If you instead decide to skip not only will you let them down but you will feel guilty for not keeping your promise.  You could even place a bet with your friend to see who can lose weight the fastest.

7. Find alternatives for dessert

Just because your goal is weight loss does not mean that you have to completely give up ever having dessert. You just need to be smarter about the choices you make and ensure that there is plenty of room for them in your diet to accommodate for the excess calories.  Some great options are fruit with low fat whipped topping, sugar free jell-o, or a cup of flavoured coffee or tea sweetened with some sugar free syrup.  All of these will not do any damage to your diet and will satisfy your sweet tooth.

8.  Try and reduce how much alcohol you consume

While you working towards weight loss you will want to limit your alcohol consumption as much as possible because it is going to reduce your will-power to stick to your diet and you will be more likely to cheat with foods you don't even really want.  Also, alcohol itself is quite high in calories so this is not going to make the process of weight loss any easier.  If you feel you must drink than try alternating one alcoholic drink with one non-calorie beverage such as water or diet soda.

9.  Be aware of hidden calories

Sometimes even the most rigorous calorie counters miss certain places where calories are 'hidden' and really add up.  This is particularly common in restaurant meals because you may think you are ordering a healthy dish of vegetables and chicken however what you don't know is that they may have added a great deal of butter to the vegetables before they arrived at the table.  Another source of 'sneaky' calories are smoothie type drinks.  These are becoming more and more popular and are generally thought of as a healthy meal replacement. However, often because of the amount of food blended into them and their sheer size, their calorie counts are higher than an actual meal.  So be on the lookout for odd places where calories may be a lot higher than you are expecting.

10.  Try to eat frequent meals.

 Eating frequently is going to do two things to help make weight loss easier. First it's going to help you control your hunger levels since you will never be going an extended period of time without eating and secondly it is going to help keep your metabolism higher.  Every time you eat your body is going to expend some energy in the process of digestion so the more often you can stimulate this the more calories you will burn during the day.

 So try applying a few of these tips to your diet today.  Remember that you do not have to do a complete overhaul of your diet but rather add in new changes as you progress through.  It is much easier psychologically to make a few changes a week then to try and change all your bad habits at once.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Corn-Dog Gap   [Robert Costa]

Today we learned that John Edwards is “an Atkins-dieter who hated making appearances at state fairs where ‘fat rednecks try to shove food down my face.’” With unemployment rising and many Americans turning to the ice-cream tub for a scoop of comfort, you’d think the president might decide to axe any waistline finger-wagging from tonight’s State of the Union address. Or not. Politico gives us the skinny:

Oklahoma City Mayor Mick Cornett will join first lady Michelle Obama in her box at the State of the Union address on Wednesday. Last week at the US Conference of Mayors, Obama praised the Republican for a website he launched — thiscityisgoingonadiet.com — where people can learn how to lose weight and track their weight loss.

“That's what Mayor Cornett did, when he started talking about the problem of obesity and lost 40 pounds himself to get down to his target weight,” she said. “And the people of his city took notice. When he goes to restaurants now, everyone watches what he orders. And a reporter quoted one of his constituents saying, ‘When the mayor pushes you to lose weight, that says something.’”

That’s a nice little story, sure, but let’s hope the president avoids any inclination to become America’s Jenny Craig. It would be annoying nanny-statism, of course, but it also wouldn’t be good politics. As The Economist points out, 68 percent of Americans are either obese or overweight:

Telling people to eat more healthily is like telling them not to have risky sex. Americans are suspicious of the nanny state at the best of times, let alone when it nags them to curb their most basic instincts . . .  A recent proposal to tax sugary drinks, for example, went nowhere . . . even if good food were freely available, losing weight is hard. Every year, 25% of American men and 43% of American women attempt it.

If Obama does chat fat, I doubt it’ll go over well. As Maureen Dowd recalls, this is the man who “had to force himself to nibble French fries and drink beer (instead of his organic Black Forest Berry Honest Tea) during the Pennsylvania primary.”

01/27 07:50 PMShare

Want to burn an extra 100 calories per day?
Who wouldn't???

Here are eight simple things that you can add to your daily routine that will burn an extra 100 calories. Think about it. If you do one of these things each day, rotating them if you like, at the end of one year you will have burned off 10 pounds.

From Fidgeting to Fornicating: Eight Ways to Burn 100 Calories

1. Sex and Sex Again. Especially with St. Valentine's Day right around the corner, I thought you'd want to know that having sex — or making love for the romantics – burns about 100 calories per hour (depending on your level of enthusiasm). If an hour is just too much for you, try two 30-minute romps in the hay!

2. Fidget Your Way Thin. Any type of movement requires energy, and fidgeting is definitely movement. Fidgeting is a Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis (NEAT). And a fabulous way to get through a day when you're chained to your desk. Tap your feet, wiggle in your seat, and play that keyboard loud, for one hour daily!

3. Vacuum Your House and Your Neighbor's. Twenty-five minutes of vacuuming burns about 100 calories, and if you have stairs even better! Needless to say, if you live in a NYC apartment as I do, which takes — even if I'm really thorough (which I never am) — about 10 minutes, you're going to need to seek out other people's carpeting. Try knocking on your neighbor's door, and see if they'd like to support your new exercise regime!

4. Cold Water. Studies show that drinking cold water gives a half-hour boost to the metabolism. The effect comes from warming the water in the stomach. Eight glasses of cold water strategically spaced throughout the day can give you a boost that equals approximately 25 calories per glass. Four glasses equals 100 calories burned! That's 700 per week, or 2800 a month which equals roughly 2/3 of a pound flushed out!

Be forewarned. Drinking too much water can kill you, especially if you are either eating very little (a very bad idea) or fasting (not for long, please, and under doctor's supervision).

5. Rake and Dig. You can either rake your lawn with a moderate amount of energy for 30 minutes to burn 100 calories, or you can dig a few holes and rake your lawn with gusto for 15 minutes and burn 100 calories. Somebody, get me a hoe! Please.

6. Childcare. A bonus for the moms (and dads) out there! Believe it or not, 30 minutes of taking care of your kid, running after the little cutey, picking up the toys, pushing the stroller … burns 100 calories. Makes the motherhood thing more appealing?

7. Drink Caffeinated Green or Black Tea. Caffeine is a stimulant and stimulants may increase the calories you burn. 250 milligrams of caffeine with each meal will increase your metabolism by 10%!!! Don't add sugar or milk to your beverage and defeat the purpose! And please, don't over do it. This is not for everyone. Bottom's up.

8. Walk. Okay, maybe taking a walk is not the most innovative idea ever, but people, it's something you can do! A mere 15 minutes of brisk walking burns approximately 100 calories. As the creator of the Kick in the Tush Club, I am seriously giving you a kick in the tush and pushing you outside. Take a lunchtime walk or before work walk and/or an after work walk. You'll feel happier for it, too!

Your gain IS my pain. How can I help you?
Janice

————————————

For the best wellness and weight loss wisdom, visit Janice's daily motivational musings on Beliefnet.com
Our Lady of Weight Loss…for weight loss wisdom.

Sources: healthy weight loss

Boost Your Healthy-Eating Willpower; Burning Off Fast Food Is Harder than You May Think

Indulging in that fast food meal doesn't sound as good when you realize what you have to go through to shed the pounds you'll put on. Working off a 6-pack of chicken nuggets requires way more than an hour on the treadmill.

Green blog EcoSalon corralled a batch of popular fast food meals and snacks, analyzed their nutrition content, then figured out just how hard you have to work to burn off calories after you've stuffed your face. For instance, you'd have to swim laps for more than two hours to compensate for the 620 calories packed into a Burger King double cheeseburger.

Not all the calorie-blasting ideas are drudgery—some are quite fun. The thing is, when you look at how long you'd have to do everyday chores like cleaning or gardening just for the sake of having a bacon cheeseburger for lunch, suddenly it hardly seems worth it.

Re-roofing your house for a couple hours is one price you could pay for cramming a Carl's Jr Bacon Swiss Crispy Chicken Sandwich in your maw, and here's your penance for IHOP pancakes:

110 calories and 3 grams of fat per dessert pancake, and 230 calories and 58 grams of fat per two ounces of syrup. So if you layer up the pancakes, you're looking at about 790 calories. But no worries. If you bicycle like a rabid hamster – or, roughly 20 mph – you can burn it off in 45 minutes. And possibly win the Tour De France. Look out, Lance Armstrong!

We're not suggesting you should never indulge—you actually do need calories to survive, after all—but if you're looking for some motivation to avoid an unhealthy meal, EcoSalon's post puts an unhealthy fast food meal in perspective. Hit up the post for more, then share your best and most fun fat burning tips in the comments. Thanks, Sara!

First we obsess over stars’ “baby bumps,” then we shame the new moms into squeezing back into skinny jeans as quickly as possible. Katie Gentile on the double standard that hurts women.

Sarah Michelle Gellar is back in her “skinny jeans” just four weeks after giving birth to her daughter, reports Us Weekly. Ditto Ellen Pompeo, I read in People. Twice, Heidi Klum walked the Victoria Secret runway just six weeks after having a baby. Natalia Vodianova topped them all, taking to the catwalk a mere two weeks after giving birth.

In 2010, God help the celebrity who fails to shed the baby weight immediately, as she may end up on the wrong side of one of those ubiquitous “best and worst post-baby bodies” pictorials. It is chilling to watch the culture become more and more obsessed with babies, while the evidence of how these babies are created is removed from public view. The supermarket tabloids obsessively scope out “baby bumps,” cooing each time a C- or even D-lister conceives. But the second the bumps become bouncing bundles of joy, the pressure is on for the new mom to squeeze back into her skinny jeans. The post-baby body must banish the bump, or risk ridicule.

It’s as if we should actually believe the baby dropped from the stork, from the sky, from anywhere but that toned, buff body.

It used to be that People magazine confined news about pregnancy and babies to its “Milestones” section. Now baby obsession has changed the very structure of the magazine, giving us features such as “Mommy and Me Fashion,” “Celebrity Family Albums,” and the ever-popular rush to publish the first photos of celebrity spawn. Similarly, celebrity gossip magazines and blogs now devote entire sections to bump patrols, moms and babies (only occasionally dads), and a parade of post-baby body photos. In this “new” culture that seems to mix domestic ideals of the 1950s with the expanded opportunities of the 21st century, baby bumps—expanding breasts and bellies—are celebrated, photographed, tracked, and made an endless source of speculation. But we ignore the less attractive, yet all-too-real aspects of pregnancy: There are no swollen ankles, plump thighs, or puffy faces allowed on the red carpet.

Of course, intense scrutiny of women’s bodies is not new, and celebrity antics have long made for profitable media fodder, but the obsession with postpartum weight control is something new. These days, we rarely see a picture of a pregnant celebrity without the requisite estimation of weight gain, called “baby weight,” as if it is somehow separate from the mother’s body. The best way to get rid of it is breast-feeding, the tabloids tell us, claiming that lactation magically and effortlessly melts away pounds.

Yet as The New York Times recently noted, research is conflicting as to whether breast-feeding actually promotes weight loss. Breast-feeding may burn calories, but it also stimulates appetite, leading many women to eat more. The Mayo Clinic advises normal-weight, healthy women to exercise moderately and eat about 300 more calories per day while pregnant, gaining between 25 and 35 pounds over the course of the nine months. And Mayo advises women to lose only 1 postpartum pound per week in order to maintain solid nutrition. La Leche League advises that women not diet for the first 2 months after delivery to help their bodies recover and establish good milk flow.

Contrast this information with Us Weekly celebrating Ashlee Simpson-Wentz for sticking to her 1,500-calorie-a-day post-pregnancy diet, People discussing Liv Tyler’s postpartum fasting and colonics, or Ok magazine’s “Baby Weight Secrets,” which advise women to stick to fat- and carb-free diets and spend hours exercising daily.

It would be easy to see this obsession with post-baby weight control as just part and parcel of the usual misogynistic obsession with women’s weight. Female celebrities are under constant pressure to stay thin. But look at it another way: When women shed the baby weight, they are not merely getting back their pre-baby body, they are obliterating all the evidence of ever having had a baby in the first place. This means the one thing that only women’s bodies can do is expected to be immediately erased. The post-baby body is wrung of its recent life-giving feat. Sagging milk-filled breasts must appear perky; the once-swollen abdomen is made concave. It’s as if we should actually believe the baby dropped from the stork, from the sky, from anywhere but that toned, buff body.

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I'm a fitness trainer and do not recommend circuit training to burn fat. Just because circuit training has wide appeal doesn't mean it's the best way to burn fat. Circuit training has appeal for several reasons, one being variety, and another being the nature of hitting many muscle groups in a short period. But this doesn't translate to ultimate fat burn effect. Circuit training is touted because it keeps the heart rate continuously elevated. But again, nonstop heart rate elevation doesn't mean maximum fat burn or even efficient fat burn. Read more on burning fat before continuing on.

If someone asks me, “What's the best way to burn fat?” or, “What's the fastest way to burn fat,” I will never advise this person to do circuit training. Never. If someone asks, “How do I work every muscle group in 25 minutes,” then I'll suggest circuit training. If someone asks, “What kind of exercise hits all muscle groups and keeps my heart rate going for 30 minutes?” I'll suggest circuit training, the VersaClimber, swimming or rowing.

But best fat burn?
Two exercise principles leap into mind: High intensity interval training (HERE)
and heavy weight lifting. Circuit training is not ranked high for a substantial fat burn (though any exercise will burn some fat) because it is not intense enough. By definition, circuit training is continuous movement. But in order to sustain movement, motion or exercise nonstop for 25 or 30 minutes, it cannot be strenuous or highly intense.

Because if it were, you would not be able to sustain it continuously for so long. Yes, you may feel whipped after 30 minutes of circuit training, but exercise that can be sustained for half an hour does not qualify as “intense” or “strenuous.”

Intense and strenuous is that which you can maintain for only moments to a few minutes. And then a rest is absolutely mandatory and unavoidable.

Maximum fat burn occurs when the intensity of the exercise is high enough to trigger heightened release of two hormones: testosterone and human growth hormone. In order for these hormone levels to jump up, the exercise must be downright strenuous, so intense that you cannot sustain it for longer than 30 to 90 seconds or so. After which, you're zonked and in bad need of a passive rest for at least a minute or two.

When these hormone levels are increased, fat burning accelerates, and stays accelerated for many hours after the workout is finished. In circuit training, the intensity isn't high enough to promote sufficient increase in these fat burning hormones to induce what would be considered a stellar fat burning effect.

As for heart rate elevation, very intense, short bursts of cardio or weight lifting, will crank up the heart rate, often beyond 85 percent heart rate max. The passive rest that follows each burst may be as long as several minutes, but you'll notice that by the time you start up the next punishing burst, your heart rate is still elevated. This kind of training will leave metabolism elevated for hours after the workout. Traditional circuit training will not achieve this.

Tighten inner thighs:
HERE

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Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra are all medications intended to overcome Erectile Dysfunction. The medications are expensive and not always convenient. The drug makers do try to cover all the bases to entice men into believing they have the answer to their libido troubles. If your penis fails to perform properly it may be a sign of a deeper issue. The Erectile Dysfunction is merely a symptom that Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra are treating, not correcting the real problems. The startling truth is just as simple as your desire to perform properly. The first recommendation is a healthy diet rich in fish and vegetables. Reduce levels of stress and get a good nights sleep, along with moderate exercise and relaxation. Moderate exercise will help reduce stress and make it easier to relax and sleep good at night. It is very easy to overcome Erectile Dysfunction without the use of drugs or other enhancers.

Exercise is not what we want to hear. We want the magic pill that instantly fixes problems that have taken us years to create. If you take Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra it will provide the instant gratification you are seeking. The next time you want to make love you will need that magic pill or things tend to go south. Moderate exercise can be as simple as walking the dog or playing catch with children. You really don't have to get crazy, just try to get about 45 minuets of exercise 3 or 4 times a week Drugs just repair the symptom that will return, while a little exercise will help you in many ways and correct the problem.

Healthy eating habits will reap rewards far beyond the correction of Erectile Dysfunction. Obtaining a better erection that last longer is greatly enhanced by what you eat. Eating plenty of fish and fresh vegetables are a key element in overcoming Erectile Dysfunction. A proper balance of carbohydrates, fats, fiber, and keeping tabs on sodium also contribute greatly. Each one of us being somewhat unique, requires some experimentation on your behalf to see just what works best for you.

Exercise along with healthy eating habits help lower stress, making it easier to relax and get a good nights sleep. Before you commit to the magic of Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra, give the natural remedy a try. It only takes a moderate amount of exercise and Erectile Dysfunction can be overcome without the use of drugs..

Upon further reflection on the comforting assertion that:

“23. Stayart has never engaged in a promiscuous lifestyle or other overt sexual activities.”

This makes complete sense really.

That is why there is -NO SUCH THING- as the Bev Stayart Angry Dragon, the Bev Stayart Arabian Goggles, the Bev Stayart Bait N' Tackle, the Bev Stayart Bear Claw, the Bev Stayart Beef Curtain, the Bev Stayart Blumpy, the Bev Stayart Bronco, the Bev Stayart Brown Bagging It, the Bev Stayart Brown Necktie, the Bev Stayart Brunski, the Bev Stayart Bullwinkle, the Bev Stayart Butter Face, the Bev Stayart Canine Special, the Bev Stayart Carpet Cleaner, the Bev Stayart Chili Dog, the Bev Stayart Chocolate Pizza, the Bev Stayart Cleveland Steamer, the Bev Stayart Cold Lunch, the Bev Stayart Concoction, the Bev Stayart Cop's Delight, the Bev Stayart Corkscrew, the Bev Stayart Daisy Chain, the Bev Stayart Davey Crockett, the Bev Stayart Dirty Sanchez, the Bev Stayart Dirty Swirly, the Bev Stayart Dog In A Bathtub, the Bev Stayart Donkey Punch, the Bev Stayart DVDA, the Bev Stayart Electric Chair or the Bev Stayart Fish Eye.

Nor is there any Bev Stayart Fish-Hook, the Bev Stayart Fire Island, the Bev Stayart Flaming Amazon, the Bev Stayart Flooding the Cave, the Bev Stayart Flying Camel, the Bev Stayart Flying Dutchman, the Bev Stayart Fountain Of You, the Bev Stayart Fur Ball, the Bev Stayart Gobstopper, the Bev Stayart Golden Shower, the Bev Stayart Greek, the Bev Stayart Ham And Cheese Sandwich, the Bev Stayart High Dive, the Bev Stayart Hindenburg, the Bev Stayart Hogging, the Bev Stayart Hole In One, the Bev Stayart Hotdog In A Hallway, the Bev Stayart Hot Karl, the Bev Stayart Hot Karl Candy Cane, the Bev Stayart Hot Lunch, the Bev Stayart Hummer, the Bev Stayart Indian Cock Burn, the Bev Stayart Jedi Mind Trick, the Bev Stayart Jelly Donut, the Bev Stayart Juanita Special Bean Dip, the Bev Stayart Kennebunkport Surprise, the Bev Stayart Landshark, the Bev Stayart Lorena Bobbit, the Bev Stayart Menthol, the Bev Stayart Mellon Dive, the Bev Stayart Monkey Wrench, the Bev Stayart Mork, the Bev Stayart Moses or Bev Stayart Motorboat that I know of.

And I certainly have never heard of the Bev Stayart Mushy Biscuit, the Bev Stayart New Jersey Meat-Hook, the Bev Stayart New York Style Taco, the Bev Stayart Nixon, the Bev Stayart Oyster, the Bev Stayart Pasadena Mudslide, the Bev Stayart Pattycake, the Bev Stayart Paying the Rent, the Bev Stayart Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich, the Bev Stayart Pearl Necklace, the Bev Stayart Pig Roast, the Bev Stayart Pink Glove, the Bev Stayart Pirate's Treasure, the Bev Stayart Plating, the Bev Stayart Popcorn Trick, the Bev Stayart Purple Mushroom, the Bev Stayart Ram, the Bev Stayart Rear Admiral, the Bev Stayart Red Wings, the Bev Stayart Resuscitation, the Bev Stayart Roddy Piper, the Bev Stayart Rodeo, the Bev Stayart Rose Creeper, the Bev Stayart Rusty Trombone, the Bev Stayart Sandbag, the Bev Stayart Seatbelt, the Bev Stayart Shirley Temple, the Bev Stayart Shocker, the Bev Stayart Shop Vac or Bev Stayart Shrimping.

But mostly it is refreshing and uplifting to know that the Bev Stayart Skiing, the Bev Stayart Slumpbuster, the Bev Stayart Snerd Nurgling, the Bev Stayart Snoodling, the Bev Stayart Snowball, the Bev Stayart Snuff, the Bev Stayart Stingy Nut, the Bev Stayart Sud N' Fud, the Bev Stayart Surfing, the Bev Stayart Swimmer's Ear, the Bev Stayart 3-Eyed Turtle, the Bev Stayart Tortoise, the Bev Stayart Tossing Salad, the Bev Stayart Tropical Wind, the Bev Stayart Tuna Melt, the Bev Stayart Twisted Sister, the Bev Stayart Vegetarian Hot Lunch, the Bev Stayart Wake Up Call, the Bev Stayart Walrus, the Bev Stayart Western Grip, the Bev Stayart Westside Glaze, the Bev Stayart Woody Woodpecker and the Bev Stayart Zombie Mask simply do not exist.

Because if overt sexual activities like these did in fact exist, I'm sure a Google, Yahoo or perhaps even a Bing search would find references to such abominations.

Whew! I'm sure glad that'll never happen. I would be very, very dissapointed in Bev.

Wouldn't you?

.

(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

Upon further reflection on the comforting assertion that:

“23. Stayart has never engaged in a promiscuous lifestyle or other overt sexual activities.”

This makes complete sense really.

That is why there is -NO SUCH THING- as the Bev Stayart Angry Dragon, the Bev Stayart Arabian Goggles, the Bev Stayart Bait N' Tackle, the Bev Stayart Bear Claw, the Bev Stayart Beef Curtain, the Bev Stayart Blumpy, the Bev Stayart Bronco, the Bev Stayart Brown Bagging It, the Bev Stayart Brown Necktie, the Bev Stayart Brunski, the Bev Stayart Bullwinkle, the Bev Stayart Butter Face, the Bev Stayart Canine Special, the Bev Stayart Carpet Cleaner, the Bev Stayart Chili Dog, the Bev Stayart Chocolate Pizza, the Bev Stayart Cleveland Steamer, the Bev Stayart Cold Lunch, the Bev Stayart Concoction, the Bev Stayart Cop's Delight, the Bev Stayart Corkscrew, the Bev Stayart Daisy Chain, the Bev Stayart Davey Crockett, the Bev Stayart Dirty Sanchez, the Bev Stayart Dirty Swirly, the Bev Stayart Dog In A Bathtub, the Bev Stayart Donkey Punch, the Bev Stayart DVDA, the Bev Stayart Electric Chair or the Bev Stayart Fish Eye.

Nor is there any Bev Stayart Fish-Hook, the Bev Stayart Fire Island, the Bev Stayart Flaming Amazon, the Bev Stayart Flooding the Cave, the Bev Stayart Flying Camel, the Bev Stayart Flying Dutchman, the Bev Stayart Fountain Of You, the Bev Stayart Fur Ball, the Bev Stayart Gobstopper, the Bev Stayart Golden Shower, the Bev Stayart Greek, the Bev Stayart Ham And Cheese Sandwich, the Bev Stayart High Dive, the Bev Stayart Hindenburg, the Bev Stayart Hogging, the Bev Stayart Hole In One, the Bev Stayart Hotdog In A Hallway, the Bev Stayart Hot Karl, the Bev Stayart Hot Karl Candy Cane, the Bev Stayart Hot Lunch, the Bev Stayart Hummer, the Bev Stayart Indian Cock Burn, the Bev Stayart Jedi Mind Trick, the Bev Stayart Jelly Donut, the Bev Stayart Juanita Special Bean Dip, the Bev Stayart Kennebunkport Surprise, the Bev Stayart Landshark, the Bev Stayart Lorena Bobbit, the Bev Stayart Menthol, the Bev Stayart Mellon Dive, the Bev Stayart Monkey Wrench, the Bev Stayart Mork, the Bev Stayart Moses or Bev Stayart Motorboat that I know of.

And I certainly have never heard of the Bev Stayart Mushy Biscuit, the Bev Stayart New Jersey Meat-Hook, the Bev Stayart New York Style Taco, the Bev Stayart Nixon, the Bev Stayart Oyster, the Bev Stayart Pasadena Mudslide, the Bev Stayart Pattycake, the Bev Stayart Paying the Rent, the Bev Stayart Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich, the Bev Stayart Pearl Necklace, the Bev Stayart Pig Roast, the Bev Stayart Pink Glove, the Bev Stayart Pirate's Treasure, the Bev Stayart Plating, the Bev Stayart Popcorn Trick, the Bev Stayart Purple Mushroom, the Bev Stayart Ram, the Bev Stayart Rear Admiral, the Bev Stayart Red Wings, the Bev Stayart Resuscitation, the Bev Stayart Roddy Piper, the Bev Stayart Rodeo, the Bev Stayart Rose Creeper, the Bev Stayart Rusty Trombone, the Bev Stayart Sandbag, the Bev Stayart Seatbelt, the Bev Stayart Shirley Temple, the Bev Stayart Shocker, the Bev Stayart Shop Vac or Bev Stayart Shrimping.

But mostly it is refreshing and uplifting to know that the Bev Stayart Skiing, the Bev Stayart Slumpbuster, the Bev Stayart Snerd Nurgling, the Bev Stayart Snoodling, the Bev Stayart Snowball, the Bev Stayart Snuff, the Bev Stayart Stingy Nut, the Bev Stayart Sud N' Fud, the Bev Stayart Surfing, the Bev Stayart Swimmer's Ear, the Bev Stayart 3-Eyed Turtle, the Bev Stayart Tortoise, the Bev Stayart Tossing Salad, the Bev Stayart Tropical Wind, the Bev Stayart Tuna Melt, the Bev Stayart Twisted Sister, the Bev Stayart Vegetarian Hot Lunch, the Bev Stayart Wake Up Call, the Bev Stayart Walrus, the Bev Stayart Western Grip, the Bev Stayart Westside Glaze, the Bev Stayart Woody Woodpecker and the Bev Stayart Zombie Mask simply do not exist.

Because if overt sexual activities like these did in fact exist, I'm sure a Google, Yahoo or perhaps even a Bing search would find references to such abominations.

Whew! I'm sure glad that'll never happen. I would be very, very dissapointed in Bev.

Wouldn't you?

.

(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)